NO WAY?!?
People aren't permanent?
"Hey guys, people aren't permanent..."
*stands back in awe*
I was not aware of that....
Thank you...
*begins feverishly weeping*
THANK YOU!
*really explores the leg room of ugly crier syndrome*
People aren't permanent....yeah and fucking cheetahs run fast.
"Well, Kevin relative to the spectrum of all things that move fast---"
SHUT THE FUCK UP, BITCH!
This is my status...THIS IS MY THRONE YOU LACTATING BUFFOON!
If you want to be a vacuum that is your business but you take your bird dogging- fan fluting- dried up sac of monkey shit somewhere else...FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!
You ultracrepidarian gofer hole!
You bulbous accumulation of phlegm and baby fat!
You cankerous postulated SCROTUM!
You irrevocably infantile PEACOCK!
Shove it...take it and shove it where the sun don't shine....
Shove it shove it shove it shove it...THE SUN!!!!
You....gallivanting opportunistic jive turkey!
You want an irrelevant TLC reference?
Will that make you love me?!?!
Hey everyone, people aren't permanent...if you haven't noticed.
Just in case...you...um....missed that memo....you missed the boat...on the whole finite deal....
People aren't permanent....for those of you who thought they were...
I just wanted to let you all know...you now have my permission to accept your morality and not to chase your dumbass dog into a hot spring.
If you're ever near a hot spring with your dog....if you have a dog...if you have a hot spring....
Do you have a hot spring?
Nations on the other side of the hemisphere have a hot spring...
You coagulated suit case holding barnacle....
You fleshy bag of mucus membranes....
Yes, don't run with scissors, play on the freeway, don't talk to awkward creepy strangers who ask you to help them with their car, which happens to be located down some dark alley nearby.
Yes, do not subscribe to things that reinforce your preconceptions about this world for you will learn even less than nothing.
Nothing would be something, but less than nothing, what is that?
That isn't even something...that's just negative...
NYYYYEEEEGATIVE...KEVIN...you're sO NEGATIVE!!
YOUR BLOOD type is negative...!!!
IT must be...*laughs to self*
Whatever Professor cock sniff, take your pretentious face far away and take your polished turd of a gem with ya....
And walk ya baby nuts down the block...
We eat the big steaks over here, we got the big trucks....we shoot the big ducks...and the quails...
We shoot the quails...trapped by an enclosure....beat that BITCH!
And at any point...do they ask...do they ask?
People aren't permanent everybody....
People...are....not....permanent......
Haven't you seen those videos of people jumping off roofs..??
Like roofs that are really high up in the air....tall buildings....?
What the fuck do you think happens to them?
Afterlife....
Aftershmlife....
What if the afterlife blows donkey nuts?
What then you pestering preposterous lemur tit?
You obstreperous krill eating dog fish!
Ahh, what a great gravestone quote that would be...
"People aren't permanent...."
It almost has a morose feeling at that point....
At this juncture in time...I would like to alert the defendant that people aren't permanent!
*judges gestures 'AHA!'*
Your mom isn't permanent....!
People aren't permanent...the nerve of you....to insult the intelligence of all in one fail swoop...for the love of lemon grass chicken....
What in the dilapidated fuck am I supposed to do with that?
You literally just diminished a metaphorical clump of grey matter just by me having to wrap my mind around how fucking stupid someone would have to be to not realize such a breathtakingly obvious fact of life.
Fact of life....
Death is inevitable...imminent and practically the only thing that gives everything value, meaning, and preciousness...
So fuck your in your hallmark ass you fucking virtue signaling toad ball!
You wanna Kodiak...moment...I'll give you a Kodiak moment...right before I fucking puke all over your shitty face with brilliance...and undigested sushi....
AND IIIII YEEE IIII WILL ALWAYS LOOOOOOVVVEEE UUUUU OOO AAAAHHH IIIIII YEEE I...WILL ALWAYS>>>>
FUCK YOU!!!!!
People aren't permanent.....
She will be loooooovvvvved....
She will be fuuuuu-uccc-kkkk-eeeedd....
Okay.....enough shitty jokes....
I just really want to drive this point into the ground.....
People aren't permanent.....
Fucking uninjured birds generally fly...
Healthy grass tends to be green...
A square has four corners....
Cigarettes are smokable....
Lots of cars are on planet Earth...
Ummm.....
Big blankets can cover your bed....
Violent animals can kill you.....
Super volcanoes exist!
Don't eat bed bugs....
Don't fart when you feel like you have to poop...
Don't go chasing waterfalls.....
Salmonella doesn't do a body good.....
Sharpie eyebrows are. wonderful.
Hey everyone....Sharpie eyebrows....ground breaking....
People aren't permanent....EVEN MORE...CUTTING EDGE....
The ocean....has waves....and like...it's a bunch of water...with salt in it....
Um...stars....are far away....and technically could already be burnt out...but do the limit of perception...
Um.....like...donkeys....make funny noises.....
Imagine being a chicken..or a donkey....or a fucking peacock....I mean if that was your default...your maximum output of expression....is the sound of one of those cock SUCKERS!
May the lord have mercy....
How does one avoid being a house cat in the next life?
People aren't permanent....
Just in case you forgot.....It's time for everyone to wake up and smell the crab cakes....
People aren't permanent...and anyone who tells you they ARe...
STONE THEM A KILL THEM....HANG THEM AND FILL THEM...WITH FRESH CAT POOP....
FRESH....cat poop!
YOU'RE FRESH CAT POOP!
YOU'RE A PORN BOT!
YOU'RE A CLICK BAIT!
Look I'm here to be blown...and if you can't understand that...than take ya bullshit up tell-me-who-gives-a-fuck....alley....down in -nothing-matters central.....in the glorious nation of fuck-it-forward...
Inside the universe eloquently named by that who shall not be named...THE BIG ELECTRON....
IF you can't respeck my adept yammering of meh premeditated clishmaclaver then you just don't have the gusto...nor the stones to hang with a pelican like me....
So go peck away at life with your big fat gob you cheeky slag...
You pineapple scented surrogate for mole rats!
You bloated weeble filled with anchovy paste!
You mischievous robust pussy fart!
You cackling mess of insignificant redundancy!
You posturing one eyed flamingo...
You advocate for forcible turtle rape!
You bleak polished mosquito turd!
People aren't permanent....everyone....
And thank God for that....
It would be a mathematical....impossibility anyways...
Imagine how bored people would....we can't even toy with our own collective extinction....anymore....
We couldn't blindly gamble with our own lives....
And oh the gross injustice that would be...
Holy Mackerol....
Holy cube of ten year old cheese......
Holy Moroccan salt shakers...
Holy goblets....filled with sacred Moroccan fish oil....
Holy MOLY...
You dysfunctional micromanaging fanned can of radiated clams!
You wanna be uplifting, anus tickler!!!
You neck scrunch-er....
You scoffing immoral scrooge...
Your rambunctious nap sac of goat droppings!
YOU WEB FOOTED BASTARDO!
Look chicken dick....estrogen baby cock...
Just remember people aren't permanent...
And I am medicine for the disenfranchised, the broken, and the oddities!
So just live your life...held back by your fears...stressing over dumb shit...over thinking everything...walking away from people if they don't appease your deep seated insignificant petty desires of how things should be....
Yeah...just stay afraid...and hide away...and fail to plan....plan to perpetuate....practice....practice...practice....the more you do it...the better you get...
Go offline...in real time...and forget about it all...and just let life pass over you like death...
Don't think....just put both arms in the air...start drooling....and march....to the nearest tragedy....so that you can feel better about your life...
Sometimes...in the past...I've considered the idea...of two things...people justify their bullshit by demonizing you....
And also....
People...will keep you around...to look down on you...so they can feel better about their miserable existence...
But hey...more power to ya...
Could I interest you in some burnt toast?
Some lost treasure...
A suckle from my literary nipple?
A majestic can of wet cat food?
Warm milk?
Whateves...floats ya shitty boat...
Just don't get all high and mighty with me....
Because...I wear the big boy diapers...and I Take the big shits...
Around these parts.....
I got one skill...and we do not speak of it...because we don't exist....and we never have...and never will...
But it's love...under the hate...and hate under the poppy seed muffins...
Don't leave your shoes....under the apple tree....
Because nothing makes sense when you think about it...and the Fibonacci sequence is the Illuminati....times a bunch of chewed up nipples...
Am I losing my mind?
No...I've just coming to terms with the concept that people aren't permanent...and it's just left me so incredibly flabbergasted...that I actually almost shit my pants....
Yes....I want to go wait for a potato bug that will never arrive....
Praise lord potato bug....
And his faggy cape....
The caped turd...spoke of his moral standing...with vigor...and conviction....
The caped turd!!!
Look at him suck ass and fly into the sunset!
Okay....seriously....I'm so incredibly unamused with how fucking obvious....it is that people aren't permanent...it honestly bugs me that such is even needed to be elaborated on...
FUCKING DOY!
UMMM...NO....fucking...SHIT!
What part of people dying every single fucking day of all sorts of fucked up unimaginably horrid circumstance does your sociopathic depthless croton sniffing mind not understand about that?
You legion of butt crumbs....
You crumpled lower half of an over sized druid....
How can so many fall from the dumb tree....so fast....
And they breed!
THEY BREED!
Like rats and roaches...hoping so desperately to get a taste of immortality...living on through your offspring...like some kind of transmitted virus to the heavenly body....consuming...like a human sized black hole....
Like one big zit experiencing itself vicariously....
The big bang was the popping of a zit...on the face of some obscure God....
Holding on for dear life...full of fear...for what is next to come....
Illusions...illusions...illusions...
Persistent....convincing.....distracting...illusions...
From the basis of it all...the human condition...and your propensity to ignore the obvious...
But God dammit....
Jumping fucking frog tits....
Why!!!
Seriously....anyone who needs to be told people aren't permanent...needs to be air dropped into a fucking volcano...
Needs to be sealed in some saran wrap and thrown off the side of a rocky cliff side...near shark infested waters.....and shot with a harpoon gun once swallowed by said sharks....
For the love of fucking JEFF CHRIST....
GEt a facking GRIP!
You cat nip smoking patron of whore island!
You idealistic...well wishing....puffy cheeked double dipping ...smiley....golf ball washer!
A joint for a joint makes the whole world high...
Seriously....people are so fucking vulnerable...and sensitive...and blind...and ignorant...to it all...all you do is distract yourself...from impending doom...doing your best to avoid interplanetary chaos...and immediate death....slithering through all obstacles that threaten your mind state...only to realize....once it's far too late...what you truly lost.... Dorris Wedding baby flower girl outfits for wedding
What you failed to understand from the beginning...
You know fucking next to nothing....and the day you realize that...is the day you will start learning once more...
HAHAHAHA...don't listen to me...
People aren't permanent....let that be your pledge of allegiance....
Never forget how dumb the average human is...
And only you can create man made forest fires!
PRAISE THE BOOK OF THE NIP....
*bows head and prays*
In the name of Alex Trebek...I deem you...complete!
Amen....