IF ONLY I WERE YOU #25

Get me to the mercado on time

The pawn shop owner puts a little doubt in “Pedro’s” mind when he asks if he’s got the receipt and says they don’t take stolen merchandise. Chamoy, playing the concerned dad, goes into the pawn shop after “Pedro” walks out and the owner tells him he’d better keep an eye on his boy. Kid came in there with a stolen bracelet.
Yesenia is trying out a hot pink lace dress for Cocó’s wedding, but she’s not liking it. Inés, on the other hand LOVES it and insists on putting her hair up. This gives Yesenia an opportunity to say if she were “Pedro” she’d pull a runner, because Cocó is acting más loca que una cabra (crazier than a goat).
Somehow, Cocó has fallen asleep on her couch and is dreaming about the doctor saying she’s not pregnant and everyone’s reactions to her. Lupita wakes her up and scolds her for wrinkling her dress and messing up her hair.
“Pedro” gets home and wants to spend some time contemplating the bracelet and its significance some more, but Jonathan brought over a jacket and Inés tells him to hurry and get dressed–everyone else is ready.
“Leonardo” contemplates the stacks of cash on his desk, annoyed that The Clone makes so much money screwing people over. Gwen reminds him that Rockefeller gave a lot of money to charity to deal with the guilt over making so much billullo. Pedro mopes that he wouldn’t even make Leo’s monthly salary in 20 years and he has nothing to offer Fernanda–not even the truth. Basi calls to tell him Operation Black Cat was a bust, he’s about to implement the next phase, but Pedro tells him to forget it. He’ll go over there and put an end to this.
Inés is oddly tense. All the women of Casa Perico are dressed up and complimenting each other. Yesenia is teasing her grandmother that she could totally hook a millionaire and get them all out of poverty. Sara says her granddaughter looks like such a sweet, candid young lady in that dress.
Basi tries to discourage Pedro from pressing “the self-destruct button.” The chorus of wailing cats in carriers filling the limo backs him up. He begs the Virgen for help.
“Pedro” is looking around at all the decorations, not exactly thrilled, but he figures Cocó will like it, right? He sees Renata and goes over to talk to her.
“Leonardo” is heading out of the office, but Humberto wants to talk to him in his office. He grabs him by the arm and drags him over. Wow…seems like the Virgen always takes Basi’s calls.
“Pedro” tells Renata he feels awful. He took an anti-anxiety pill. There’s just no backing out of this decision. But he found out more about himself–besides being a player and a bad friend, he’s also a thief.
Eugenio noticed “Pedro” talking to Renata and he annoys Paloma by commenting on how she looks. Paloma’s further annoyed because she doesn’t think it’s professional for Renata to be involved in “Pedro’s” personal life.
Humberto questions “Leonardo” about wanting his salary in cash. He thinks “Leo” is being blackmailed…by Basilio! He’s already gotten a raise and now “Leonardo” is asking for an office for him and a promotion, when he’s never treated Basi as more than a chauffeur. If “Leonardo” doesn’t fire him, then Humberto will.
Justino and Magdalena are dressed up to go to the wedding…except not. She’s going to the wedding and he’s not going with her and she has no business asking where he’s going and when will she get that through her thick skull? It’s as if he only waited around to make sure she saw him all dressed up just so he could get in a little additional abuse before he left. Creep.
Yesenia and Ruben run into each other and she takes offense at him offering to help the señorita get a drink (take it, Yessie, those big bottles are a drenching waiting to happen!). She’s furious he’s flirting with her when he said he was in luuuuuurve with someone else. And telling her she looks really pretty, but “weird” doesn’t help. Their 500th awkward interaction is interrupted by Inés telling everyone to gather ’round for the ceremony. Basi spies from behind a rack of clothing and pets the cat hiding in his coat to keep it quiet.
“Leonardo” explains that Basi’s raise was to correct his earlier mistake–making him work as chauffeur and as his assistant in the office and all for the same salary. As for the office, isn’t Basi his assistant? And the cash? The cash is for some charitable work, and not the kind they do to avoid taxes and get praised for in the society pages. Something more personal.
Cocó enters the mercado on Jonathan’s arm while “Pedro” gazes longingly at Paloma and Yesenia whispers to Lupita. Basi releases the cat, who crosses Cocó’s path, making her jump into Jonathan’s arms. She recovers quickly and insists on going on with the ceremony.
“Leonardo” continues his impassioned argument to Humberto. They have more money than they can spend in 10 lifetimes and there are people who can’t even pay their gas bill. Does that seem right to him? “Are you becoming a communist?” “Leo” whines that he’s just trying to have a heart and some common sense. And when Humberto STILL won’t understand he says it’s his money, he earned it, and he can do whatever he wants to with it!
Basi watches the ceremony and wonders where the hell Pedro is and whether he’s going to get his clone out of this mess after all. “Pedro” hasn’t answered whether he takes this (lying) woman and Sara hisses that he’s still in time to save himself from this stupidity. Yesenia agrees and they both get shushed by Inés. “Pedro” can’t stop looking at Paloma. He finally answers that he accepts Cocó. Cocó now gets the question, but she sees something terrifying that makes her hesitate.
She stares off and remembers Basi, as the fake psychic, telling her there’s a big lie and it’s not going to end well. Everybody’s wondering what’s going on with her and she finally says she can’t go through with it! It was all a lie! She’s not pregnant! And they never…never…you know! Sara gloats, Inés is shocked, Yesenia is amused, Paloma is relieved. As Cocó starts to run off, we see what freaked her out so badly…someone in a giant cat suit with big green eyes! “Pedro” doesn’t just let her run off without trying, at least once, to ask how she could deceive him like this, but Cocó just keeps on running. We see the big cat take off the head of the costume AND IT’S TERMI! Basi cheers! I cheer!
Skip this if Justino already skeeves you
Justino comes to collect Tania for their dinner. He brought her a present and insists she take it, because they’re going to a really nice place and he wants her to look good. It’s a dress. And the box wasn’t very large. *shudder* He insists she put it on while he waits outside. In the bathroom dear, trust me. EW! He takes a hit of breath spray!
While he waits, Justino combs his hair, sprays some more breath spray, and looks in Tania’s window.
Yes, he gets an eyeful. And then he hears a couple in another room talking about going out and he pulls away from the window.
Justino fixes his hair again and sprays more breath spray. I wish he’d choke on it. Tania is finally ready and she loves her new dress. I don’t know what Justino expects her to say to him, but it’s probably not that she feels weird about him doing so much for her. He insists he’s just looking out for her. “OK, I’ll accept it, but only because I think of you like another dad.” Hahahahahahahahahahaha! That shuts him up. He pretends he’s just hungry, that’s all. He keeps checking out her ass while she locks the door and walks down the hallway. Creep.
How the other half does drama
Ignacio is as baffled as Fernanda about why “Leonardo” is still stalling about getting married. She thinks his “secret” is what he did to Santiago and he wants more time to cover it up. Ignacio just looks pensive.
Pedro is anxiously waiting for the elevator. A woman comes up and he barely nods in her direction before going back into the office.
Fernanda is tearfully furious because she wanted to hear “Leonardo” confess to what he’d done. Ignacio is comforting her when “Leonardo” pokes his head into her office and sees them standing way too close. He angrily bursts in and asks them what’s going on. Of course he doesn’t think Fernanda is to blame at all, but he’s more than happy to rough Ignacio up.
The argument rages on until something falls off an end table and Fernanda tells them both to cut it out and throws Ignacio out of her office. “Leonardo” is no calmer as he yells at her for refusing to realize that Ignacio has a thing for her. Fer shuts him down with “What difference does it make if we’re not together anymore?” He’s already rejected her twice, and now he can deal with the consequences.
Humberto comes out to the lobby, having heard the shouting, and Ignacio blames it all on Leonardo. Humberto’s confused. Leonardo’s not like that. He must have seen something, to go after Ignacio that way…? Ignacio reminds him Leo hasn’t been acting like himself lately. He convinces him not to go into Fer’s office, since it sounds like she calmed him down. Then he lays a guilt trip on Humberto for not believing him.
“Leonardo” tries apologizing, but like Fer points out, he keeps rejecting her and swearing he loves her so what the hell does he want? He wants reassurances that she only loves him, but what else would she want to marry him for? To make her own life a living hell? (I glare pointedly in her direction.) She bluffs, or maybe she’s just had it with the whole situation, and tells him to leave her alone so she can leave and get far away from him. She keeps telling him to get out of her office until she finally screams so loud it gets through his thick skull.
In the lobby, Humberto tries to confront “Leonardo” again, but Pedro tells “Don Humberto” to talk to the hand.
What did you expect?
Cocó whines to Lupita, who scolds her, but mostly seems incredulous that Cocó thought she could get away with it. There’s a knock at the door and Cocó doesn’t want to answer, but Lupita says they’d better just deal with whoever it is. It’s Termi, wanting to talk to Cocó. Lupita leaves them alone.
Back at the mercado
“Pedro” is furious with himself for being taken advantage of and not listening to anyone’s warnings. Inés is trying to calm him down, but it’s Renata who comes over to suggest they talk in private. Paloma shoots them an annoyed look as they walk away.
In the mercado café, “Pedro” is chastising himself for not asking for a DNA test. Renata counters that it couldn’t have been done until after the 3-month mark, and it’s expensive. But look, it wasn’t even necessary after all. “Pedro” still feels like a chump. And he’s also not happy with himself for the way he treated women in the past and how THAT contributed to the Cocó debacle. He brings up the “stolen” bracelet and it occurs to me what a position of trust Ivonne is in to be able to buy a $40K bracelet on her boss’ behalf.
He repeats what the pawn shop owner said about the quality of the diamonds. How’d a guy like him get his hands on something like that? Theft seems like the only logical option. Renata points out that this is becoming a pattern–just like he did with Cocó, he’s taking responsibility for something he didn’t do. Is he trying to get someone to punish him? He reminds her that his dad is in jail, he doesn’t know who he is, and he’s getting increasingly scared of finding out.
Inés feels bad for Cocó. Yesenia doesn’t think she deserves it. Inés wants to go talk to her, but Lupita’s already dealing with her. Paloma keeps looking vaguely anxious/excited.
Yesenia asks about all the food and Inés wants people to just divvy it up and take it home, but Sara has a better idea. She invites everyone to celebrate her grandson’s freedom! Have some beer! Have some tacos! Have some cake! Turn up the music! Everyone gets into it, even the formerly reluctant Inés. She dances with Yesenia while Doña Tencha grabs Melquiades.
Renata tries to convince “Pedro” that maybe there’s some other explanation, like maybe it’s someone else’s and he was just holding on to it. Anyway, he needs to quit beating himself up over stuff when he’s got no proof. It’s bad for his treatment. They hear the noise and “Pedro” is surprised they’re going on with the party. “Well, see? Nobody thought this was a good idea.” She encourages him to get back to his family, who must be worried about him, and relax and realize he’s freed himself from a huge problem. But what about the other problem? She’s sure he’s a good person, with good values, and the amnesia isn’t likely to change that. For now, she asks him not to talk to anyone about the bracelet until they can clear things up. Renata is a little too happy when “Pedro” takes her hand to thank her. DorrisWedding green color selections for cocktail
Ruben asks Yesenia to dance. “Aren’t you afraid your girlfriend will hit you?” Um, no, he’s more afraid of Yesenia hitting him–she hits harder. “Are you really afraid of me?” He says he is, but hey, he wants to dance. Yesenia pulls a few Candy moves before she realizes what she’s doing and starts dancing like an awkward teenager.
Sara tells Jonathan to go ask Inés to dance already. Inés tries to turn him down, but he says it was Sara’s idea. “Oh, well, if Sara said so.” They’ve just gotten to the floor when the music slows down. Chamoy shows up and glares at them from behind some bird cages, which is just a little too menacing and symbolic for me and ruins the whole party vibe. Thanks, jerk!