Weekend jokes

Laugh out ur sorrow ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
1.. i was in a plane going to England when two pilots started fighting, i just came down and entered okada.............. i hate rough play jhoor ? ? ? ?

2.You are busy telling someone's
daughter that you can't breathe without her , Is your family aware that you are on life support? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

3.Johnny: Mum you lied to me
Mum: How?
Johnny:you said my brother is a little angel
Mum: Yes he is!
Johnny: How come he didn't fly when i threw him from the balcony........
MUM FAINTED. ? ? ? ? ? ?

4.Jus becos I want 2 check if iphone11 wil size my pocket yesterday at ShopRite,one mumu started shoutin thief
Just check o ? ? ? ? ?

5. I don't know why, Every School Has That One
Teacher/Lecturer Who Dress Like They Don't Earn
Salary. ? ? ? ?
6.HIV is very scary only when it's in Capital
letters, just look at it now... hiv
. ? ? ? ?

7. Imagine me and you in Heaven eating "daily
bread" then vooom!! Devil passes with Pizza,
beleive me, some slay Queens would follow him...
. ? ? ? ? ?

8.It has always been men b4 women .
Examples;Husband and Wife,Mr and Mrs,Adam and Eve.Until it gets to witches and wizards ? ? ? ?

9.. In Lagos You Must Learn How To Drive Perfectly With One Hand And Use The Other Hand To Throw Wakaaaaa Wakaaaa
wetin eye never see ? ? ?

10.My uncle picks a fight with me like he doesn't know how evil i can be. I'm going to steal his phone and save my two numbers as "Jenny Sweet" and "Naomi Big Ass" then repeatedly call him and hang up at 3am
His wife will do the fighting for me
Me i don't fight my elders ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

11.. If you see me on the road kindly stop & tell me
you are my Facebook friend instead of staring at
me like I stole your pant..
. ? ? ? ?

12. You know nothing about betrayal until you see
your best friend who told you he hasn't read
anything, asking for extra sheet during exams..
. ? ? ? ?

13.Happiness is waking up, looking at the clock
and finding that you still have two hours left to
sleep . E dey sweet die
. ? ? ?

14.Welcome to my country where someone with
pot belly is a gym instructor..
. ? ? ? ?

15.Meanwhile, Someone said the reason why
Yoruba people voted Buhari is because He
promised to show them pepper..
.
Wait..., before una attack me, remember I said
"someone said".
. ? ? ? ? ?

16.One Ghana lady asked me why do you
Nigerians like saying "Sorry" before asking a
question.
_Like 'sorry' please what's the time? "Sorry" is this
the line?
I answered her, well.........to me my dearie,
everybody in this country is angry.
_So You have to apologize for their anger in
advance before making inquires. ? ? ?

17.I can take a bullet for my babe as long as its chilled, other energy drinks give me headache.......... what are you thinking ? ? ? ?

18.Its my first time in court, and I heard the judge saying "order" and I replied rice, chicken and juice. Now two police officers are escorting me outside I think we are going to the restaurant. . ? ? ? ? ?

19.How African parent comment on their children Facebook photo. " You're beautiful in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. ? ? ? ? ? ?

20.An old Nigerian farmer wrote a letter to his son in prison: "Emeka my son this year I won't be able to plant yam and cassava because I can't dig the field. I know if you were here , you would have help me ". sweet 16 court dresses
Emeka wrote back:"Dad don't even think of digging the field because that is where I buried the money i stole
The Nigerian police on reading the letter went there very early the next day and dug the whole field searching for the money
but nothing was found.
The next day, Emeka wrote again to his dad
:dad you can now plant your yam and cassava, this is the best I can do from here
Dad replied :Emekus Emekus my son you are a very powerful man indeed. Even in prison you still command the policemen . I was surprised to see all the policemen
with hoes , shovels and diggers digging my farm land . Thank you my son I will write to you again when I want to harvest ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

Happy weekend friends
Love u all ? ? ?
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